In Folds Of Smile

I wonder why no one ever mentions broken friendships as they talk about broken hearts in love. I recently realized that losing a best friend is worse than a break up with a lover. There is so much mourning and grief that comes along with it which I had cherished as an important part of my life over a decade. 

                  Truth is that I was hesitant to tell what I was going through fearing many would think of me as crazy, but wanted to pen it down to find solace and to get ride of that self created sadness which was disturbing me in and out. I asked myself so many questions, wondering – Are friendship betrayals real? Could I prevent it? Was it even a true friendship or was I delusional? I decided to keep it to myself rather than seeking support from other friends. I kept telling myself that a best friend leaving me wouldn’t be so painful. Jane Austen has quoted that ‘friendship is certainly the first balm for the pangs of disappointed love.‘ Here is a massive acknowledgment of how painful romantic breakups can be, but where’s all the hubbub when a friend breaks up with you? 

                   It was shocking to me because my friend has never hurt me in the past and we had always got along so well, share every good and bad moments from teenage to adulthood. I look forward to the day when I no longer miss him. I visualize a day when tears will not roll down my eyes when I think about the loss of our friendship. I recognize that the end of friendship doesn’t mean one of both are bad humans, it’s just that it was not working at some point but I did not take the hint to detach. 

                  For now I am trying to give myself time to heal from this and accept what happened. As Paulo Coehlo says – ‘If you’re brave enough to say goodbye, life will reward you with a new hello.’ So I guess all I can do is believe that compared to what other people are surviving out there in the world, this is not so bad….but shit happens and sometimes we just need to laugh it off and believe, ‘what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.‘ 

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